Today after the school run, I walked on to my local park and sat, just for half an hour. I looked at the trees, the plants, the flowers and I listened to the birds. It was beautiful.
I even discovered on my way out of the park a couple of trees that people had tied ribbons and tags into the branches off, some of them were beautiful colours, some of them were sparkly. I was surprised. I live on the outskirts of a city, I never expected to discover trees near me that people had obviously put offerings and wishes in!
This morning gave me time to think and things to think about, as I sat in the park these words came to me:
In the end there is only me
Myself, my thoughts and divinity
No one else knows how I think or how I really feel inside my heart and head
When I got home I thought some more about how I feel:
The process of learning and growing is a personal one. Others may guide me, show me the way, but ultimately it is my own choice, my own decisions that take me on my path.
Only I can choose the direction, the journey is mine and mine alone.
I make the choices, I make the decisions, I have the power to change my life, my path, my destiny. That’s a lot of power.
If I let someone else’s words or opinions sway me in a direction I am not comfortable with, I am allowing them to take my power away.
I am not being big headed here, just taking control of what I choose to believe and what choices I make in my life. Don’t get me wrong I am very thankful for the advice and support of friends and family, couldn’t and wouldn’t want to get by without them. But there is a point where only I can decide what is best for me.
I am so very thankful that I have my beliefs, my witchcraft and the love, support and guidance of the God & Goddess. Sometimes though I find myself lost, not knowing which way to turn or what direction to take. It is as if a small pebble has been dropped into a large lake and I am feeling the effect of all the ripples in every part of my life.
So how do I get back onto the path? Ah that’s the tricky part. I have floundered for some time now, but today feels like a turning point. I spent some time in my local park, sitting under the trees, listening to and watching the birds. Re-connecting to nature, to mother earth and all that she nurtures. The realisation that this is what it is all about. This is what I have been missing over the winter months perhaps?
I think it is easy to get stuck into routine, I am no different than many others in the respect that I am a wife, a mother, I work, I keep house, I do the washing, get the dinner etc etc. All those different hats I wear. And I do love all of them (well OK, maybe I don’t actually love working or doing the ironing but you get the gist). Someone, somewhere always needs me to be something to them. Do I fulfil all these roles well – no probably not as I would hope to, but I try. I just have to remember to stop sometimes and remember that I am also ME.
I am and always will be a witch, in whatever I am doing. But I forget this sometimes. Even in doing the housework I can still be a witch, adding a bit of magick as I clean the house – it’s all rituals in some form or another.
And I think it’s all about the same thing – the search for balance in life. Do I get the balance right? Not always, in fact sometimes it feels like an uphill struggle to do so. But in the end the fact that I am trying is the important part.
It is Spring - time to cut old ties, old habits and move forward with a fresh, new and reaffirmed outlook on life and how I choose to live it.