Monday, 7 November 2016

When did I get old?


Last week I turned 48 years old...

We went out for a birthday meal (fabulous Indian restaurant) and photos were taken...the next day when I looked at the photos I thought to myself "who is that middle age lady?"  Yup it was me and I was shocked but then when I thought about it I realised that at 48 years old I AM a middle aged lady...eeep!

In my head and my heart:

I am still the 17 year old that left home to go and live on a farm with a pig farmer.
I am still the teenager that attended all the late night and all night Young Farmer dances and parties.
I am still the 21 year old that rushed into marriage (the first time) because I got caught up in the wedding fever.
I am still the 24 year old that met a long haired rock drummer and 'ran away' with him.
I am the girl that partied all weekend at Harley Davidson bashes.
I am the girl that became a drummer in an all girl rock metal band (we gigged for a year in local pubs and clubs).

I am all of those things..but not...

In reality I would not want to live in a farm cottage with no central heating and get up at 5am to go feed and clean out the pigs any more...
In reality I don't want to party all night long...instead the sofa, a blanket and a good book beckon.
In reality I am now very happily married and we have been together for 24 years..but he is still a long haired rock drummer.
In reality I still love Harley Davidson motorbikes but couldn't afford one.
In reality I loved the gigs our all girl band did, but I hated all the practice that I had to put in.

In reality I am a wife and now a mother of two beautiful children (both still at school) and I love my life.

I don't want to do all of those things that I did, because I have done them already.  I have packed an awful lot of fun and frolics into my 48 years and I am still making and creating the most amazing memories...they are just in a different way (and involve a lot less alcohol, parties and pigs).

Life changes...we change...life evolves...we evolve.

So I am a middle age woman and I may be struggling with the outward appearance just a little bit but I will find a way to deal with it, whatever that might be!

The saying goes "never look back" but actually it is kinda fun to look back at the memories that were created but maybe it is not wise to dwell on them and definitely never, ever to have any regrets.

Moving forward...wrinkle cream at the ready...this middle age woman ain't ready to grow old yet...

2 comments:

  1. Ah this struck a chord on looking at photos last week I thought more or less the same as you and I came to the same conclusion, I am the same age as yourself, my eldest has just turned 17, youngest 14. I partied my late teens and early 20,s away lived life to the full made some good and bad choices, met a great guy after many failed relationships and have been married for 21 years. I would not want to be living that life now and relish an early night great family times instead. Old friends, note the old (friends no longer) are still partying away and didn't accept the fact that I didn't want to carry along with them. Each stage of life is different and I think back fondly or have a cringe or two, but when I look at recent photos again, yep I am middle aged and accepting of it also. Great post, sorry for my long winded reply just agreeing with your words.

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  2. No need to apologise Rosemary! It was lovely to hear your thoughts, thank you :-)

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