It's a twisty ole witchy road...

Yesterday evening I had one of those clarity but not clear moments...

I was scrolling through facebook when I came upon a beautiful Ganesha silver pendant by the very talented Hairy Growler, it was very lovely (bit out of my price range unfortunately) but it made me stop and think...ruh roh...dangerous...

About a gazillion years ago when I first stepped onto the pagan pathway I blessed a silver pentacle pendant during my self dedication ritual and I have worn it every day since, it has always reminded me of my journey, from where I started and where I am now.

But last night I began to wonder if it really fitted me now...I am a witch, always will be but my path has meandered, twisted and turned along many different branches along the way.  I have dipped into, read about, experienced, worked with, studied and attended courses and workshops on all sorts of things from Druidry, Shamanism, Faeriecraft, Hinduism, Hoodoo to Wicca, Goddess worship, Hedgewitchery and of course Kitchen Witchcraft with various other bits and pieces such as Reiki and crystal healing along the way.  I have taken bits and pieces from all sorts of pagan and spiritual areas and created my own individual and unique tradition.  This isn't a new discovery, my path has always been eclectic and I have always been and always will be OK with that, it works for me, I guess it was the symbolism of the pentacle that made me think, it didn't seem 'enough' to cover everything...

I have also worked with many deities from many pantheons - Celtic, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Hindu and even Orishas and Loas have presented themselves to help guide me, teach me and generally kick my butt.  Many years ago my matron goddess The Cailleach arrived and she has been with me sharing her feisty thoughts ever since, then a couple of years ago Ganapati (Ganesha) arrived...and I am pretty sure he is here to stay so I have a Celtic matron goddess and a patron Hindu god...now there's an interesting mixture!

I found myself asking "where am I now?" and " who or what am I?"  Well the first answer is and always will be - a witch - but it didn't seem to be enough.  The pentacle pendant didn't seem to cover all that I am now...and I am not sure why...

Do I even need a label?  Well no, nobody needs a label at all I just think we as humans like to have them, perhaps it makes us feel like we fit in somewhere?

I was more concerned about having a symbol that covered all that I am, all that I do and all that I follow and believe in, the pentacle seemed somewhat lacking, but what symbol would cover all of the things?  I mentally made a list of all the things that symbolise what I do and believe in...

Witch
Nature
Cailleach
Ganapati
The ocean
The moon
The sun
The earth
The goddess
Then what about my totems?  Wild boar, frog, panther, magpie and pigeon...

That's a heck of a lot of symbolism to fit into one pendant!

Having slept (badly) on it, this morning I think it is more about control, I am a total control freak and I struggle to let my journey just unfold but that is what I must do.  I don't need to be put into a specific box, I don't need to have anything that sums me up.  Perhaps I just need lots of different pendants and choose which one to wear each day depending on how I feel or what energy I need to draw on? (I am liking this idea...).