Do it for you...

I have some personal rules, some people might think I make work for myself but I do believe the effort is worthwhile.

Even if I am just lounging around the house for the day I nearly always wear makeup, not a lot but enough to make me look vaguely human.  But it isn't all about the looks it also makes me feel better.

I do own jog pants, but I only ever wear them as pyjamas, you won't ever see me wearing an old t shirt and jog pants even around the house - again it is about looks in a small way, I don't want to look scruffy and unkempt for my hubby but it's also about how it makes me feel.

I don't mean that I wear a velvet ball gown to do the housework, but I do like to make a bit of an effort.  And I am also not saying that by 9pm at night I am not sitting in front of the TV with my PJ's on...because I do!

Probably more since I have worked from home, because I think it can be very easy to slip into lazy ways when you don't have to go out of the door each day to work.  I know this makes my hubby laugh when I say it, but I do make an effort to have the house clean and tidy for when he comes home and a meal on the table, it wouldn't worry him if I didn't but I do.  And I do it possibly partly because I think as I am at home all day and he goes out to work that I should keep the house clean and tidy and cook the meals but also because it gives me a better sense of self worth.

I think possibly the only time I haven't showered in the morning and worn PJ's all day is when I have been really poorly and had to stay in bed.  Other than that I don't function until I have showered and dressed - it sets me up for the day.

I am not a skinny minny, I have curves and although I sometimes have weeks where I watch what I eat and try and lose a few pounds I am generally happy with my body.  If I did want to diet I would only do it if I wanted to do it for ME, I don't believe it is possible to have the will power to do it otherwise.

Hubby and I have been together for twenty years and I am still very conscious of how I look to him but again it is also about how I look and feel for myself, back to self esteem again.

Although I might make a bit more work for myself in making the effort I think it is worth it for how it makes ME feel.

I guess what this ramble is all about is doing things for YOU, doing small little things to help YOU feel better about yourself.  Brushing my hair, putting on a nice dress and a little bit of makeup makes me feel good, it makes me feel good about myself and confident in how I look to others.

So...DO IT FOR YOU!

Tansy
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Daily rituals - what do you do?

I was thinking this morning about how many daily rituals we all have and possibly don't even realise that we have them.

On a usual week day morning I get up, shower and dress.  I come downstairs and am incredibly lucky to have a hubby that will have switched my laptop on for me and laid my breakfast out (yeah I can hear you all groaning LOL).  The children will be up, washed and dressed and eating their breakfast.

Then I check my emails, then I check the Kitchen Witch school forum, then I check facebook.  Followed by the school run.

Then time is my own and I start my next set of daily rituals, I tidy up the breakfast things, I open up the doors to the garden and have a quick check on all the plants and I put food out for the birds.

The next item on the ritual agenda is to check my altars, I check the flowers are fresh, if they aren't I replace them and then I spend a moment in front of my working altar, just to centre and focus on the day ahead.

Next?   Depends on what work I have to do but usually involves me sitting in front of the computer for the morning.

The afternoon I will spend doing more offline things, maybe a meditation, maybe some crafting, maybe some housework!

Each week day is pretty much the same, the same routine the same rituals.

Today I actually thought about what I do and realised that automatically I do all these things, and most of them I do on 'auto pilot' so today I made a point of stopping in the garden and just standing in the sunshine that we finally have, reaching out and feeling the energy of nature and sending blessings and thanks.  I took a moment at each of my altars to thank deity for all that I have.   And I will spend some time this afternoon watching the birds feed on the food that I put out, we have lots of pigeons and doves and a pair of blackbirds that regularly visit.

Rituals and routines are good, they make me feel grounded and organised but I must remember to stop occasionally and connect with all that is around me and take a moment to think about why I do the things I do.

Have a lovely day!

Tansy
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Life lesson - being let down

I have over the past few years had a lot of life lessons thrown my way, sometimes tossed gently my way other times thrown with sudden force - all of them have taught me something.

One of my pet peeves is being let down, I absolutely hate it being done to me and therefore try never to do it to others.

I know sometimes things are unavoidable illness and such, but I can't help but be disappointed and then usually cross when someone lets me down, fails to do what they said or fails to turn up when promised or cancels at the last minute without warning or what seems like a good reason.

I have had variations of all of the above, one spectacular event being when a friend arranged to come to my house for the day, I cleaned and tidied and cooked a meal for lunch and baked a cake...an hour after they were supposed to turn up I was looking on facebook whilst waiting and saw a status from them...saying how they were on their way to another place...a quick text later got me a weak apology that they had forgotten...

I do always put a lot of time and effort in when I have guests, because I like people to feel welcome, comfortable and honoured in my home.  I always do the housework and usually cook a nice meal or at the very least a cake!  To then be let down at the last minute especially if it is seemingly without thought is not nice.

I know this sounds like a whinge and to a certain extent it probably is, but what I wanted to share was the life lesson I have learnt from these experiences.

You cannot control others, you cannot make decisions for other people, you cannot make people act in the way you would or in the way you would want them too.  Yes I know it's totally pants when you get let down but there isn't much you can do about it and getting upset and cross is only in the long run not going to be good for you.

What you can do is remember next time to be wary of it.  If a particular friend keeps doing it, then you need to say something, although in my experience if they are that way inclined there isn't a lot you can do about it, the particular friend mentioned above is now just an acquaintance and one that I realised liked to use people, not that they realised they were doing it I don't think, but that's how they rolled.  Lesson learnt.

So when life chucks a lesson at you, learn from it - try not to get upset and definitely don't take it personally!

Every single person will have different priorities in life, you cannot rearrange their priorities for them.

Sometimes real friends will let you down and yes it hurts, but if they are real friends they will apologise and probably feel worse than you do about it, if you are a real friend to them you will forgive them.

Every action you take is your responsibility and remember that it will usually affect other people too.

Tansy
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Growth...and I don't mean my waistband

This morning is our eldest's last day at middle school, come September she will be starting secondary school and yes there will be tears.

It seems like only yesterday that she was a tiny baby that we weren't sure what to do with, didn't want to hold her too tight in case we broke her.  Now she is nearly as tall as me and wearing my clothes, well OK not all my clothes because apparently most of them are embarrassing...

It has made me think about growth.

We all grow, we all change over time and hopefully it is for the better, we learn by our mistakes and we grow from our experiences.

I shudder sometimes to think what I was like as a teenager, oh I wasn't bad...bad - just opinionated.

My eldest is very grown up for her age and incredibly responsible but we still get glimpses of the child...when she still plays with dollies for instance, because she is so grown up we tend to forget that she is only 11 and still a baby really.

I wonder how much society has taken childhood from our children?  The world is so full of computers, TV and accessible media do children really still have a childhood as we had?  Playing with simple toys or running through the woods?

I am not really lamenting the loss of those things because the world changes, as all things do, movement is necessary in all things, the Wheel turns, the World turns - all changes, all growth.

I can only hope that she holds onto her inner child, something I believe that is very important for all of us to do.  Our 6 year old and my 49 year old husband both fall into fits of laughter at bottom jokes...

So this evening I will encourage her to embrace the good memories, to make a photo album with all the photos she has collected and add it to the Memory box she has.    A box we started when she was very small, it holds her hospital tag, first pair of bootees, bits and pieces from nursery and then her primary school - a journey of her life really, it's nearly full now so we will need to start a new one, perhaps starting secondary school is a good time to do that.

Today I will relive happy memories, today I will embrace change and growth, today I will remember my inner child too and this afternoon I will probably pull my hair out as I have a house full of 11 year old girls getting ready for their end of school disco...

Tansy
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ouchie...ouchie...crack...snap....aaaahhhhh

I have had a problem with my upper back and neck for a while, caused by using the laptop for extended periods of time.

Once I realised what was causing the problem I organised a laptop stand and a separate keyboard but of course by then the damage was done.

So today I visited an osteopath, never been before, never had back problems before!

I debated about whether to visit an osteopath or a chiropractor, a bit unsure about what the differences are, and I am not sure I know now!  However the Osteopath website spoke about an holistic approach to healing so that sold it for me.  We talked quite a bit about alternative therapies and the power of the mind over the body whilst I was there.

He was a very friendly chap, started out with a consultation and after hearing my symptoms he guessed that I worked at a computer!

Then 25 minutes of 'manipulation' - thankfully I was able to keep my leggings on (although I had put my best underwear on...) so it wasn't quite so embarrassing but he did lots of neck cracking and back crunching, working on the top part of my spine, my neck and my shoulders.

And...I already feel much better!

One more follow up session next week and I should be good to go.

Tansy
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Beautiful Bath

Well my lovely hubby and I have just got back from spending a few days in the beautiful city of Bath. Steeped in Roman history the town is seriously beautiful, the architecture is amazing, even the shop fronts and the town itself is spotlessly clean with lots of parks and gardens too oh and cafes LOTS of cafes! It will take you a whole day to just mooch about the shops, but our favourite place are the Roman Baths

The Baths are structurally beautiful and have a wonderful atmosphere, you get an audio guide that not only has lots of interesting information but also dialogue from the author Bill Bryson as you go round.  All very well laid out and thoughtfully set out.  At the end you can also sample the spring water (it is warm but tastes a bit funny LOL).

In the summer the Baths are open until 10pm which allows you to experience them whilst it is dark outside but lit with flamed torches - beautiful.

Within the Roman Baths is the Temple of Sulis Minerva, layouts of how the baths would have been in Roman times, information on all sorts of things such as heating, lighting, clothing, cooking and eating.

Definitely a must to visit if you go to Bath.

The city itself along with the Abbey, has the usual array of high street shops, but also lots of smaller independent ones such as a Christmas shop, hand crafted wares, specialist food shops and a huge amount of little bakeries and cafes including the famous Sally Lunn bakery. which is in one of the oldest houses in Bath and also opens in the evening as a very nice restaurant.  The Minerva chocolate cafe is worth a visit too ;-)

Plenty of museums to visit or take a tour on the open top tour buses that travel around the city, a walk through the lovely gardens or a boat ride down the river.

It is truly one of our favourite places to go to.

Tansy
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Beat the blahs...

OK so today I woke up with the blahs...I have a bit of a cold and I am a bit tired so that probably doesn't help but I thought to myself - I am a blinkin witch for goodness sake I can do something about this!

So...time for my anti blah plan to be put into action:

Step 1 - walked into town after the school run to a nice cafe with Kindle in hand to enjoy a caramel latte.  Which I did but was slightly hampered by a couple coming to sit on the table next to me whilst halfway through my latte that had clearly not washed for some considerable time - ewwwww...rest of latte consumed rather quickly ;-)

Step 1a - on the walk into town breathed in beautiful, cleansing light and breathed out grey fug, continued breathing exercise as I walked.

Step 2 - Purchase box of chocolates on the way home, After Eight Mints should do the trick.

Step 3 - hoover and tidy up, I do this every morning before I sit down to work, I find it helps me focus if the house is clean and tidy, if it is cluttered then it seems to 'clutter' my mood.

Step 4 - Talk to friend on the phone so that she can tell me off for being in the grumps ;-)  and listen to husband advising me to try and take a nap at some point today.


Step 5 - put on happy, cheerful music.  My intention was to try out the Spotify that I have seen a lot of people using but for the moment it won't let me register...plan B put on Fleetwood Mac play list on iTunes.


Step 6 - write a 'to do' list, even if I don't actually achieve anything from it today, as least I feel semi organised in that I know what I need to do LOL.


Step 7 - pop a couple of crystals into my medicine bag to wear today, specifically picking out uplifting ones and light some uplifting incense.


Step 8 - make time today to meditate.


Step 9 - Decide which film to watch this afternoon when devouring afore mentioned After Eight Mints, probably Practical Magic maybe Pretty in Pink.


Step 10 - try not to give in to it - I have a gazillion reasons not be in the blahs - wonderful family and good friends being the most important, so I shall count my blessings and banish the blahs.


Tansy
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Ch..ch..ch..changes...

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

Of how the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(turn and face the strain)

Ch-ch-changes

Don't want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

(turn and face the strain)

Ch-ch-changes

Just gonna have to be a different man

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Last night I was thinking a lot about changes and how we all go through them on what seems like a very regular basis.

Sometimes life puts the changes in our path, but other times we instigate them ourselves, but whether scary or exciting changes always stir up big emotions.

I have changed, I am a completely different person now than I was 20 years ago, or even two years ago.  Some of that has been brought about by life changes that have been thrown at me, others have been changes I have instigated in myself, working towards a better 'me'.

Relationships change, friendships change, life situations change and priorities change.   I have lived A LOT, I have achieved A LOT and I have had a wild amount of fun doing it - living on a farm, being a Young Farmer (drinking lots of Southern Comfort), discoing, partying, skiing, going to cocktail parties, attending fancy shmancy dinner dance balls in posh long frocks, meeting and marrying a rock star ;-), going to rock gigs, being a drummer in an all girl rock band, getting tattoos, being a witch, becoming a parent...twice.   And I am only 43 so I am hoping there is a lot more to come too...

But there are all the downsides too, there have been broken relationships, a divorce, miscarriages, loss of friendships, mortgages, too many bills to pay, arguments with loved - ones you know the kind of thing.

But would I change any of it? No...because everything I have experienced whether it has been good or bad at the time, all happened for a reason and I dealt with it, sometimes on my own, sometimes with the support of good friends and family.  Everything I have experienced has taught me lessons, some I needed to learn more than once...but ultimately everything has led me to where I am now.

Is life perfect now?  Well there will always be things that happen that are sad or not so good, but life is really what you make it, the person you are is down to YOU.

I don't think I fear change so much now, I have learnt that it brings with it lessons that need paying attention to and it brings with it rebirth, a new broom sweeping out the old to be replaced with something new and hopefully good.

I am working on making me a better 'me', I had done a lot of work so far but I still have a way to go, and I work very hard on making my life how I want it to be.

Time may change me...

Tansy

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Releasing the past

I like to draw an oracle or tarot card each day just to see what wisdom it has for me for the coming day.

This morning I used the Trust Your Vibes set by Sonia Choquette and the card I drew was "Clear the past". Daily draws can be seen on the Divination Divas blog

The meaning is:

To flow in spontaneity and synchronicity, your guides advise you to forgive those who have hurt you and free your attention and energy from the past.  It restores your vitality and awareness of higher vibrations.  Nothing positive comes from holding on to the wounds of the past - they are just preventing you from experiencing the blessings and guidance of today.  Notice what resentments and old angers are burdening your heart.  One by one, abolish these psychic chains by forgiving those involved, including yourself.  Acknowledge the gifts each past injury has offered you.  This will allow you to forgive more quickly.  And if you are stuck, or not in the mood to forgive, fake it.

Even pretending to forgive sets the wheels of healing and higher vibration in motion.  This doesn't mean you condone anything unjust or feel it was okay for anyone to injure you, it simply means that you are ready to move past these mistakes and seek a higher and more loving vibration.

You can't reach what your heart seeks as long as you remain physically attached to past wounds.  If you seek justice, ask your angels to render it and let go.  You will immediately experience a lightening of heart, a deeper connection to your Higher Self and your guides.  In this lighter state, your guides can direct you far more easily to what will bring you peace and calm.


Wise words, and probably something that we could all benefit from.  There are a few issues from my past that I tend to hold on to and it isn't good for me.

I think all the anger and resentment and even guilt builds up and forms itself into a dark and dreary cloud that haunts the head and heart.

I do have plans to make a Despacho (see the Kitchen Witch blog for more details) on Friday with a friend which will help, but this afternoon I have decided to do a releasing ritual for myself for all the personal issues I need to let go of.  It won't be anything fancy, just me, some incense, a candle and a cauldron to burn those issues I need to release.

Releasing the past..moving on to the future...

Tansy
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Fun times, cake, farewells, the grumps and looking ahead...

Well what a fabulous couple of weeks we just had...our lovely Kitchen Witch School Leadership Team member Tintagel Moon visited from Canada.

We went all over the place - a ritual at Stonehenge, cake and shopping in Burley, cake, shopping and staff meeting in Glastonbury and a visit to the Goddess Temple, a tourist visit to Stonehenge and Amesbury, several ladies that lunch days and lots of crystal/chakra work and Akashic Record readings.

It was an amazing couple of weeks and wonderful to meet Tin in person as well as spend time together with all my fabulous sisters.

So the past few days have brought a bit of a 'down to earth' bump, we spent two weeks together - either Tin & Raven, Tin, Raven & myself, Tin, Raven, Sun & myself, or all five of the team - Tin, Raven, Sun, Sky and myself.    We were witches and sisters, doing witchy sister stuff LOL.

Now it's back to housework, cooking dinners, doing laundry and all that usual stuff.  And I have to admit I have felt sad and I have had a few days of the grumps.

But you know what?  I am a witch, I will always be a witch and I am a witch whether I am sitting with my sisters working on chakras or calling on deities in a ritual or doing the washing up, because that is who I am, what I am and how I choose to live my life.   It just takes a little bit more effort to bring magic into your everyday life when you don't have moots, rituals or spiritual days to share with others.

We had the opportunity to get together as a team and plan some awesome ideas for the Kitchen Witch School so we have those to work on and put into action, I also have lots of writing to do for Kitchen Witch and for a new pagan ezine Moonlight Reflections so I will be keeping busy!

We are also looking at doing some rituals of our own, as Kitchen Witch in the outside world, got to plan those too, and new ideas for the Kitchen Witch blog. Then there will be other moots and rituals to attend - so I am attempting to dig myself out from the grumps and look forward to those things that are going to happen, that will happen, that I am looking forward to rather than lament those days that are behind me - fabulous as they were.

And of course I have some lovely family outings to go to as well.

Looking forward and planning new memories...

Tansy
x


Kitchen Witch School website
Kitchen Witch blog
The Peaceful Healing Tree website - for Akashic Records