So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
(turn and face the strain)
Don't want to be a richer man
(turn and face the strain)
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
Last night I was thinking a lot about changes and how we all go through them on what seems like a very regular basis.
Sometimes life puts the changes in our path, but other times we instigate them ourselves, but whether scary or exciting changes always stir up big emotions.
I have changed, I am a completely different person now than I was 20 years ago, or even two years ago. Some of that has been brought about by life changes that have been thrown at me, others have been changes I have instigated in myself, working towards a better 'me'.
Relationships change, friendships change, life situations change and priorities change. I have lived A LOT, I have achieved A LOT and I have had a wild amount of fun doing it - living on a farm, being a Young Farmer (drinking lots of Southern Comfort), discoing, partying, skiing, going to cocktail parties, attending fancy shmancy dinner dance balls in posh long frocks, meeting and marrying a rock star ;-), going to rock gigs, being a drummer in an all girl rock band, getting tattoos, being a witch, becoming a parent...twice. And I am only 43 so I am hoping there is a lot more to come too...
But there are all the downsides too, there have been broken relationships, a divorce, miscarriages, loss of friendships, mortgages, too many bills to pay, arguments with loved - ones you know the kind of thing.
But would I change any of it? No...because everything I have experienced whether it has been good or bad at the time, all happened for a reason and I dealt with it, sometimes on my own, sometimes with the support of good friends and family. Everything I have experienced has taught me lessons, some I needed to learn more than once...but ultimately everything has led me to where I am now.
Is life perfect now? Well there will always be things that happen that are sad or not so good, but life is really what you make it, the person you are is down to YOU.
I don't think I fear change so much now, I have learnt that it brings with it lessons that need paying attention to and it brings with it rebirth, a new broom sweeping out the old to be replaced with something new and hopefully good.
I am working on making me a better 'me', I had done a lot of work so far but I still have a way to go, and I work very hard on making my life how I want it to be.
Time may change me...